long long time ago in a galaxy

So it’s bee a while since I’ve sat down, and really really gotten things out here. It has been kind of up and down for me. Finding boundaries, using them, losing them, and making mistakes that I must forgive myself for. Every day is a new challenge wherein I feel as if I have forgotten myself, how to forgive myself, and that its ok to make mistakes. I make a lot of mistakes. I make mistakes on purpose sometimes. I guess that means doing things I know I shouldn’t.

I haven’t been sleeping well. Grasping for straws. Not wanting to sit with my alone-ness or my pain. Am thinking that I should personify or what’s the word? Create physical representations of these amorphous feelings so that I can actually sit with them. Perhaps discuss things with them. Wait for answers from them. Am supposed to check out a book. Maybe I’ll head to the local bookshop and see if they have it

A drive sounds good anyway.

Am Anfang schuf Gott Himmel und Erde.
Und die Erde war wüst und leer,
Und es war finster auf der Tiefe
Und der Geist Gottes schwebte auf dem Wasser.
Und Gott sprach:
“Es werde Licht.”
Und es ward Licht.
Und Gott sah, daß das Licht gut war
Da schied Gott das Licht von der Finsternis

Und nannte das Licht Tag, und die Finsternis Nacht.

~ by Laurel Schmolze on May 6, 2008.

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